If you don’t already know who Jay Shetty is, that’s all about to change. After college, the now-35-year-old became a monk, living in India for a few years, before sharing the lessons he learned in the book, “Think Like a Monk.” He’s now a life coach and self-help guru beloved by many celebs who swear by his advice, including Oprah, and he even officiated Ben Affleck & Jennifer Lopez’s recent wedding.
Shetty is sharing more of his knowledge in his new book, “8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go,” and his “Love Rules” world tour. Consider this the Cliffs Notes version:
- Rule 1: Let yourself be alone - Shetty says we’ve all been made to believe that we’re not worthy or we’re inadequate in some way if we’re not with someone. But being alone is valuable as it gives us time to learn more about ourselves, our values and goals.
- Rule 2: Don’t ignore your karma - “Karma is a mirror, showing us where our choices have led us,” he explains. “Instead of unconsciously allowing the past to guide us, I want us to learn from our past to make decisions.” Learning from the past is how we heal it, he says.
- Rule 3: Define love before you think it, feel it or say it - Everyone has different definitions of love, when some say “I love you,” it means “I want to spend my life with you,” for others, it means “I want to spend one night with you.” Shetty advises defining what it means to you before sharing it.
- Rule 4: Your partner is your guru - “Your partner should be someone you want to learn with and learn from and learn through, and vice versa,” he explains.
- Rule 5: Your purpose comes first - Yours has to come first for you and your partner’s purpose has to come first for them, then you come together “with the positive energy and stability” that comes from each of you pursuing your purposes.
- Rule 6: Win or lose together - Couples like to think they can be the one who gets each other so deeply, they never fight. But Shetty says, “No matter how compatible a couple is, to live in conflict-free bliss isn’t love, it’s avoidance.”
- Rule 7: You don’t break in a breakup - We don’t need to have someone in our lives to feel loveable. This life coach says, “With empathy and compassion, I ask you to ask yourself: Why are we letting our self-worth be defined by someone else?”
- Rule 8: Love and love again - "We spend our whole life wishing, waiting, wanting, hoping to get and receive love," Shetty explains, "but when we take a step toward giving love, sharing love, expanding love, we get to experience it right then and there."
Source: USA Today
Scott's Thoughts:
- He must be a trusted expert if Oprah loves him and he married JLo and Ben!
- Do you feel like you and your partner learn from each other? Think they would agree?
- Have you ever been that couple that never fights? Did it last? Think it was actually avoidance?