A lot of couples write their own wedding vows, but some of them probably shouldn’t. Sometimes they’re cliche, other times they’re downright cringey. BuzzFeed asked their readers to share the wildest and worst wedding vows they’ve heard and we’re shaking our heads at these brides and grooms.
- "At my ex-best friend's wedding, the groom said, with TEARS in his eyes, 'I'm so happy that you chose me to be your d*ck for life.' Bro...NO. They are now divorced."
- The groom got up and gave a sloppy thirty-second 'speech' about how the bride's TOES were his favorite thing about her, toasted to his buddies, and sat back down. The venue staff's jaws were ON. THE. FLOOR."
- "The groom was 65, and the bride was 32. The groom said, 'I promise to get older with you and watch you grow. I met you a long time ago, and you have become a wonderful young woman.'"
- "At my cousin's wedding last fall, the bride and groom were best friends with the officiant. When he did the groom's vows, they were traditional and all that. But, when he turned to my cousin, the bride, the vows were like, 'Let him do whatever he wants, don't nag him, always say 'yes dear,' make sure he's happy, and make him dinner.' They're both not the best people, but the fact it was one-sided like that gave me the ick."
- "I went to a former friend's third wedding, and her vows consisted of rules the groom needed to follow that brought up her previous exes. Example: 'As long as you don't spend more than two nights a week with your friends, I will love you. As long as you answer your phone when I call the first time, I will love you. As long as you don't contact your ex like mine did, I will love you.' Good lord. They're still married as far as I know."
- "I attended an old schoolmate's wedding, where the groom had this to say: 'You are my [late] mother made manifest.' The crowd was audibly uncomfortable at this, prompting him to say that he RECOGNIZED it sounded bad, but, 'I have always been told I had something of an Oedipus Complex, so I am aware of that. But [the bride] has always reminded me of my mother, she's exactly like her. And I've always been into that.' He also went on to say that he loved that she was a 'basic white woman.'"
- "My husband and I went to a wedding last year where the bride and groom vowed to be 'swolemates.' I wanted to crawl out of my skin and die."
Source: BuzzFeed
Scott's Thoughts:
- Some of these newlyweds needed an editor to read over their vows first!
- I have never had the pleasure of being at a crazy wedding. Some very long weddings, yes.
- I would prefer not to write my own vows. I am not a good writer.