A man's attempt to take a joyride on a $100-thousand boat near St. Augustine, Florida ended disastrously, sparking a viral phenomenon on social media. According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC), Anthony Terry allegedly stole the boat from a private dock, only to have it list heavily in the water, which was captured and spread on Facebook. One eyewitness described the bizarre sight of Terry approaching in just his underwear, a boat bumper tied to his arm, and wearing an ankle monitor while struggling with basic tasks like tying knots and handling the anchor. Terry's ill-conceived joyride has him facing grand larceny charges and thousands in repair costs for the boat's owner.
In other stupid criminal news...
Navy Ship Runs Aground When Captain Takes Dinner Break: The glass case containing an original Magna Carta at the British Library was smashed by two octogenarian environmental activists Friday. The protesters, 82-year-old Reverend Sue Parfitt and 85-year-old retired teacher Judy Bruce from the group Just Stop Oil, pounded the reinforced box with a hammer and chisel before gluing themselves to the display. In a video, the pair can be seen holding up a sign reading "The government is breaking the law" as they targeted the Magna Carta to highlight climate change dangers, stating "there will be no freedom, no lawfulness, no rights, if we allow climate breakdown." The library's security quickly intervened to prevent further damage to the case. Despite the smashed glass, the 800-year-old Magna Carta survived unscathed.