You’ve probably heard of FOMO, or the fear of missing out, but what about the fear of saying yes? It’s what happens when we’re so cozy in our comfort zone that we don’t want to step out to try new things. Saying “no” feels easier and safer, but that keeps us from taking risks, trying new things and opportunities.
“Many of us can identify with the feeling of fear and anxiety when trying something new or going to a new place – especially if there is the potential to make a mistake, or for it to not go “perfectly.” explains psychotherapist Lisa Gunn. But she points out that by embracing and experiencing our fears by doing the things we keep saying no to, we can overcome them and face the world “with all the possibilities that a ‘yes’ can offer.”
So how do we overcome the fear of saying yes? Here’s what the experts recommend:
- Try to understand the source of the fear - Mindfulness and self-awareness can help you get past the fear of saying yes. Paying attention to thoughts and feelings can help you understand the sources of fear and deal with them directly. This can involve challenging negative thought patterns, like “I’m going to fail,” and replacing them with empowering thoughts, like “I am capable and worthy.” Remind yourself that It’s normal to feel anxious or uncertain at times, and that it’s okay to make mistakes.
- Start small - Like with any new habit, the key is to start with small steps for change. Try saying yes to something that isn’t so threatening, like going out with a friend, and then reflect on the good that came out of saying yes. Keep building on that little by little until it becomes second nature to put yourself out there.
- Consider the risk of regret - People tend to regret the chances they didn’t take, not the ones they did. Life coach Manuel Guidice says a good way to know if your fear is keeping you from missing new experiences is to ask yourself “what has this fear cost me, so far, personally, professionally, health-wise, emotionally, socially and financially.” Focusing on the regret you might feel from not taking a chance, instead of the worries about pursuing it, may encourage you to give it a go.
- Share your commitment with others - Telling friends and family about your goal to banish the fear of saying yes can help hold you accountable, so you’re more likely to stick with it.
Source: Metro
Scott's Thoughts:
- But if I start saying yes, I’ll actually have to go places and do things with people!
- Honestly my problem is I have trouble saying NO! Especially at work!
- I have to think before I say yes in social situations. Check calendar, think about how busy I am on the date in question, etc.