Carissa Caples wanted an answer to an age-old question, so she turned to a source sure to provide one … the Internet. The 25-year-old Ohio woman asked Twitter, “People who waited to have planned pregnancies: How did you know when you were in a good place to have kids?”
But her request for information also came with a caveat: “DON'T SAY 'NO ONE IS FULLY READY,” she noted, adding, “As someone who struggles to pay her bills as it is and spends many days unable to get out of bed due to depression, I’d like goalposts.” Talking to the “Today” show, Caples explains that the inspo for her tweet comes from friends in her hometown having their second and third babies, while she doesn’t feel ready for that financially or mentally.
Caples got a lot of honest feedback from Twitter, more than 200 users weighed in on her question, offering these “goalposts” as guidance.
- One she found most helpful was: “We waited until I could make enough on one income to support us. We literally had our first kid the day after our tenth anniversary. It was still hard and it wasn’t quite enough money but it was certainly better than what I was making 5 to 7 years before that.”
- Others mention metrics like insurance, including, “My husband & I waited until we had maternity coverage on our health insurance as it wasn’t until the ACA was passed that we had that benefit on the non-corporate market in TN.”
- Another woman writes that she and her partner “wanted to have taken some adventures just us, as we don’t get that young couple time back either."
- Someone also addresses the psychological impact of trying to conceive, writing, “Something rarely discussed in evaluating if you’re ready for pregnancy: how you’ll handle it — individually & as a couple — if you don’t end up with a pregnancy. Given that (infertility or pregnancy loss) happens to every 7th or 8th couple among us, it’s worth laying a psychological groundwork.”
- Other advice was just practical, like, “Jobs with mobility options, at least two locations marked off our travel bucket list, consistent community we could count on for real support, growing savings acct.”
Source: Today
Scott's Thoughts:
- It’s nice to be reminded of the good side of social media for a change!
- It is ok to wait awhile. My wife and I waited and I am glad.
- I take advice offered on social media with a very small grain of salt.