The world is so connected today that we feel compelled to share our thoughts, experiences and emotions on social media and beyond. But all that self-disclosure can lead to oversharing, or revealing an excessive amount of personal information, beyond what’s considered appropriate or necessary. And that’s not a good look for anyone.
Oversharing can happen on social media, in conversations with people we know and in professional settings. People do it all the time without considering the potential downsides, which can include damaging your relationships and your reputation. Being able to stop yourself from oversharing is an important tool to have, so how do we do it? Lawyer Jefferson Fisher offers these suggestions:
- Add a “now” filter to the question - Ask yourself: “But do they need to know it NOW?” If you think someone needs to know this information, decide if now is the best time to share it. The answer is often no, so this question can help you hold back rather than reveal.
- Stop undervaluing the “price” of your words - According to Fisher, people tend to forget that their words are worth something and they end up oversharing, even when answering a seemingly harmless question at work, like, “How was your weekend?” Taking a pause to consider what your words are worth can help stop you from divulging too much personal information.
- Understand that true connection rarely comes from talking about yourself - If all you do is talk about yourself, you won’t hear what others have to say, so you’ll miss out on really connecting. Instead, try taking a breath, pausing and listening, then you’re less likely to overshare.
- Establish boundaries and stick to them - Take time to think about what you feel comfortable sharing with others and what you consider private, then make an effort to stand by that. Being selective about the details you share can help you become more self-aware, which is key to not oversharing.
Source: Your Tango
Scott's Thoughts:
- As a nervous oversharer, this is incredibly helpful advice!
- I have overshared online before. I regretted it and have lost friends over it.
- I try to keep a "need to know" attitude about things now.