After teaching high school English for nearly 20 years, Emily Brisse knows a lot about teenagers. At the end of the last school year, she asked her ninth grade students to share what they wish their parents knew about being a freshman in high school. She asked them to share what would help their parents help them and this is what they had to say.
- "I needed time to adjust and figure things out for the first couple of months. I was overwhelmed, even though it might not have looked like it."
- "In the fall, I was still basically an eighth grader. Parents should remember that. It takes a while to settle into so much new. I kind of feel those bad early grades were necessary and unavoidable."
- "Actually, understanding the homework load of my classes would have helped because it felt like they were pushing me to do more, read more books, go to the gym more, volunteer, and I struggled to balance all that with the amount of school stuff I had to do."
- "It would be cool to have my parents know more about the books we were reading so we could have conversations about them."
- "When my parents talk to me about school, it's generally a very flat ask, like go study. This got old quickly because they didn't follow up or understand what I accrued. Managing is annoying, but curiosity is cool."
- "Checking in on how friends are is huge. I was hurt by being cut out of one group, and my parents gave me a place to process my emotions."
- "There's a lot of pressure — from everyone, including myself. Especially when I'm upset, just acknowledging more that this is a hard and new year would have lightened some of the pressure."
- "I wish they would check in more about how I'm doing in school beyond my grades. My sibling, who needs more academic help, gets the attention, so sometimes I feel it's assumed I'm fine and don't need help."
- "Having my parents care about my schoolwork and emotional life helped me not fail school completely and keep a healthy perspective."
Source: Insider
Scott's Thoughts:
- So they do want and need our help, even if they don’t act like it!
- It is hard for us as parents to use the frame of reference we have from being in high school over 30 years ago. Things are VERY different now.
- We also have to remember that we didn't share everything with our parents when we were 17 years old. So don't pressure them to tell everything in their personal lives.