A Colorado woman's attempt to steal a pickup truck shortly after being released from jail on a car theft charge was foiled not by law enforcement or the truck's owners, but by her inability to operate a manual transmission. Upon being released from jail on May 3rd after being accused of stealing a car a day earlier, the unnamed woman reportedly walked down the road, spotted a pickup with keys inside, and started it up. Unfortunately for her, she couldn't manage the stick shift, so she hopped out of the vehicle, allowing it to roll forward and hit a fire hydrant. This incident led to her getting re-arrested on new charges of motor vehicle theft, careless driving, driving without a license, and failing to report the crash.
In other stupid criminal news...
Guy Finishes Anger Management After Hitting Wife With Salami: A man who’d been arrested in The Villages retirement community in Florida for striking his wife in the face with a piece of salami during a New Year's Eve domestic dispute, while yelling "I threw it at you to get your attention,” appears to have completed his court-ordered anger management classes. When deputies first tried to question the 240-pound Patrick Heilig, one cop says, “He was so belligerent I was not able to interview him about this incident,” noting he “used his dead body weight and would not move.” In a deal with prosecutors, Heilig, 57, was forced to take anger management courses, interact with his wife peacefully, and refrain from violating any law. He was also ordered to write an apology letter to the responding deputy.