Having good manners is important to a lot of people, which is why so many parents try to teach their kids to be gracious and polite from a young age. But it turns out, neither grown-ups or children are doing a good job with their manners these days. A new study finds people say “please” less than one in 10 times when asking for something.
Researchers with UCLA came to that conclusion after watching 17 hours of video they recorded of more than 1,000 participants interacting with families at home playing and eating, and of people talking to workers and customers at stores, salons and restaurants.
- The team found that the word “please” was only used 7% of the time when people of various ages made requests.
- Kids were slightly more likely to say “please” as grown-ups, with kids saying it 10% of the time when asking an adult for something, while adults used it in 8% of requests to kids and 6% when asking an adult something.
- Study authors point out that based on previous research, they expected women would say “please” much more frequently than men. But they found it was about equal, with men saying it 6% of the time and women using it in 7% of requests.
- Interestingly, people of any gender used “please” more often when asking a man for something.
- And people aren’t always trying to be polite when they say “please.” About half of the time, it was used to pressure the other person.
Researchers suggest we rethink the way we teach kids about always saying “please” and using good manners. “Rather than trying to get kids to follow a code of rules, we should push for thinking about what it means and look at broader principles,” explains Andrew Chalfoun, co-author of the study. “Like being patient and mindful of other people, and waiting our turn instead of asking someone to — please — do exactly what we want, exactly when we want it done.”
Source: Yahoo
Scott's Thoughts:
- Come on, people, we can do better than only saying “please” 7% of the time!
- My kids always say please and thank you even though they are both young adults now!
- I try to say please and thank you all the time.