A Florida woman is in the Clearwater Police Department's dog house after trying to pass a drug test with urine she collected from a dog.
Police say 42-year-old Jessica Beatty was subject to random court-ordered drug testing following her December 28th arrest for drug possession. The random date selected was last Thursday and Beatty wasn't very confident that she'd pass. So, in a desperate attempt to stay out of jail, she collected a urine sample from her aunt's dog and brought it with her to the county's Misdemeanor Probation office.
Unfortunately for Beatty, a probation officer caught her with the fake sample and she was arrested again on a charge of urine testing fraud. (The Smoking Gun)
Scott's Thoughts and dad jokes:
- The police report doesn't specify exactly how she collected the dog pee.
- The sample probably would have tested positive for Purina.
- I have good news, Ms. Beatty. Your sample tested negative for drugs. The bad news is that you tested positive for rabies and kennel cough.