Another Crazy “Time Traveler” Predicts Impending Misery

Oh crap! There’s more doom and gloom coming in our future. This, from another TikTok “time traveler.” According to @radianttimetraveler, who claims to be from 2671, here’s what’s coming in the next few months. So, watch your ass! 

• February 17th – A 17-mile-wide tornado will hit Houston, Texas. It’ll be an F6 and “destroy almost the entire city”
• March 28th – An “ancient artifact” will be discovered that “sends you to another universe” when you touch it…oooohhhhhh!
• April 2nd – A 9.8-magnitude earthquake will happen, called “Big John,” on the San Andreas fault. This will result in a 750-foot-high Tsunami that’ll hit the California coastline
• May 15th – An alien known as “The Champion” will land on Earth, and it’ll take 10K people with it to another planet…one suitable for human life, we’re hoping, otherwise that would kind of suck
• May 27th – Civil War 2 will begin in the United States, Texas will secede from the rest of the country, and other states, like Florida, Alabama, South Carolina, and California will join them. It’s not clear how Cali would fare, though, considering it just got it’s ass kicked by a 750-foot tsunami
• June 29th – 197 statues magically appear around the world…one in each country. NOTE – the World Population Review says there are currently 193 countries in the world, so it’s not clear where those other four will be coming from between now and June. Anyway, if you touch one of these 300-foot statues, you’ll have a “7% chance of getting a superpower and a 93% chance of exploding.” So, take your chances
• July 4th – An “alien mothership the size of Mercury” will appear, “and just sit there.” They’re the ones that placed those 300 statues, it seems, perhaps just to see a bunch of people explode
• August 15th – Guess what’s hiding in the Rocky Mountains…DRAGONS! Cool, right? There are more than 2K of them, and they all “breathe fire, speak English, and want to coexist with us.” Don’t take them for granted and keep them as pets or put them in zoos, though. That would be rude (the time traveler didn’t say this…we did…that’s an important editorial note) 

Good luck to us all!

Source: TikTok/@radianttimetraveler