There’s nothing like someone swooping in with “helpful” advice you didn’t ask for to make you feel judged and second-guessed when you’re already recovering from a mistake or wrestling with a tough choice. Getting unsolicited advice can sting and research shows that’s because it threatens to undermine your belief that you’re capable of handling challenges.
Our brains hear “You can’t manage this on your own,” when someone offers guidance we never asked for, and that can shake our self-confidence. So, what’s the best way to deal with unsolicited advice? Experts recommend calmly and respectfully acknowledging it without surrendering your agency.
Behavioral researcher and psychology expert Shadé Zahrai recommends these simple, effective phrases to effectively shut down unsolicited advice.
- “Thanks for sharing. I’ll consider it.” - It’s polite and keeps the peace, acknowledging the person’s suggestion while holding onto your decision-making power.
- “That’s a useful view. I prefer to handle it this way.” - This shows you’re listening to their perspective, but protects your choice of how to deal with it.
- “I appreciate your input. I already have a plan for how I’ll move forward.” - Responding this way gives a clear message you’ve got things under control and reduces the chance they’ll offer repeat advice.
- “That means a lot. Right now I’d really value support more than solutions.” - This is helpful because it guides them toward what you actually need, which is emotional support, not a fix.
- “I hear you. If I need more guidance, I’ll reach out.” - It validates their effort, but sets a clear boundary and discourages them from giving more unsolicited advice, while leaving the door open for you to ask if you decide to in the future.
Source: CNBC
Scott's Thoughts:
- These could’ve saved me so much frustration at work and with relatives!
- What if it is your boss? Harder to reject advice from your boss. Especially when it feels like a directive.
- “Thanks for sharing. I’ll consider it" seems a bit snarky.