When you’re a kid, making new friends often happens naturally just from meeting classmates and talking to kids on your sports team or after-school activity. But by the time we’re adults, it’s not always that easy to meet new people you’d actually want to hang out with and consider friends. So, one expert is sharing her knowledge to make the process less challenging for grown-ups.
Mary, a friendship educator, offers her advice on TikTok under the handle @better.social.skills. She’s built a following by sharing practical ways to create and maintain friendships in adulthood. “I got into teaching social skills because I kept hearing how much young people who grew up with social media and phones as a big part of their youth have started to struggle with offline social interactions,” she explains, “Particularly with making friends and maintaining friendships.”
While Mary admits it can be challenging, she insists it isn’t just possible, it’s deeply rewarding to form new friendships as a 30something and beyond. Here’s her advice for making it happen:
- Join a weekly activity and stick to it - Whether it’s a bowling league, fitness class, book club or trivia night, the idea is to get involved with activities you like and keep going back. “When people recognize you there, they’ll be more likely to want to talk to you, because you seem familiar and safe to them,” Mary says.
- Practice openness - Those organized activities give you built-in conversation starters, but you have to take the initiative by talking.
- Try friend-making apps - The friendship educator suggests services like Bumble BFF, The RealRoots and TimeLeft to connect with people near you who are also interested in making friends.
- Be brave - “Bravery is often the biggest barrier,” Mary points out. “You’ve got to leave your house, show up not knowing anyone, and be ready to build a connection.”
- Manage expectations - You won’t get instant gratification because friendship takes time, but don’t give up because it’s worth it in the long-run. The expert advises, “Keep showing up, keep talking and eventually, they’ll feel more like friends than strangers.”
Source: Newsweek
Scott's Thoughts:
- Guess the chances of making new friends from the comfort of my couch are pretty low!
- I make new friends playing APA Pool League.
- There's apps for dating and now apps for just being friends?!?!